Of Demon Breed Is Out NOW!

Number two in the Revelations series has some of the funniest scenes I’ve ever written. Of course, it’s in Kindle Unlimited, and you can grab a copy here.

But, as always, if you’re broke and bored, I know what that feels like. So I’m more than happy to send you an ARC copy of the ebook, if you can leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads. Just send me an email at info@laurettahignett.com and I’ll sling you a freebie.

The Black Chalice

Book one is HEEEEEEEEEERRRRREEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It feels like it’s been forever since I started writing this series – I typically like to finish writing every single book, or at least a rough draft of each one, before I start releasing anything. That way I know the whole series will be cohesive and all my loose ends will be tied up.

And you know I’m not going to leave you hanging with an unfinished series!

Revelations has been a labor of love for me. Inspired by my all-time favorite book, Good Omens, and mashed together with my first-love genre of Paranormal Romance, it’s already raised a few eyebrows. Here’s what some early reviews are saying:

I loved this innovative fantasy novel, to the point where I was late for work, bed, and everything else I needed to do because I was desperately trying to read just a little bit more. The book was set in the highly exclusive world of the Revelations resort in Australia, and concerned the feisty (possibly cursed) heroine Eve and her reaction to one of the newest guests at the resort. I read a lot of paranormal romance and I’d never read anything quite like this. The book was an intriguing mixture of biblical facts and speculation – a bit like a more light-hearted and funnier Dan Brown! Definitely looking forward to reading the next in the series.

Whoever wrote this review, I love you. I will have the words A BIT LKE A MORE LIGHT-HEARTED AND FUNNIER DAN BROWN written on my gravestone.

Do you want a free copy? Hey, you got to the end of this blog, so you deserve it. Just email me info@laurettahignett.com and I’ll send you the e-format of choice. Leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads, and I will love you forever.

Moooooooood.

Get The Black Chalice now!

The Beginning of the End is HERE!

The prequel novella is out! Grab yourself a free copy by clicking here.

If you leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads, I promise I’ll be sending a whole lot of good energy your way.

Check out the blurb!

“I’m just an ordinary girl.  Why do people keep trying to kill me?”


Eve Horne is a cursed woman. She’s certain of it now, since her teenage years were ripped apart by a series of random and bloody attacks.  She knows she’s cursed – she must be.  Because every time Eve gets close to someone, they try and kill her.


She just doesn’t know why.


But Eve’s not going to take any more chances.  She’s not going to let anyone get close to her ever again.


So when an arrogant young businessman decides to test her boundaries, she’s terrified, and desperate to stay away from him.


What Eve can’t see is what lurks on the edges of her reality.  They’re all around her. 


A slimy, vicious Demon, hell-bent on destroying the earth. A sanctimonious Angel, driven mad by his own self-righteousness. And a powerful Guardian – a former Viking Warrior – who will do anything to protect her.


The Beginning of the End is the prequel novella to the soon-to-be-released series Revelations, by bestselling author Lauretta Hignett.

Revelations is here!

It’s heeeeeeeeere! I’ve finished a brand-new series, ready for release at the end of this month.

Revelations is a quirky new Urban Fantasy series filled with angels, demons and sexy half-breeds, plus one very confused mortal girl.

There’s four books and one prequel novella. They’re already written and will be released a month apart for your bingeing pleasure.

I’m kicking things off with the novella, releasing August 31. Grab it on Amazon for only 99 cents, or subscribe to my newsletter to get it for free. Read on for the blurb for the first full-length novel, Revelations: The Black Chalice.

“Everywhere I go, people try and kill me. Why is that?””

Welcome to Revelations – the uber-exclusive and top secret hotel resort in tropical Queensland, playground to the world’s richest people.

Eve Horne was lucky to get this job. She’s the junior night receptionist at Revelations, and it’s the perfect place for her to hide and rebuild her life after a series of bloody, violent and seemingly random attacks ripped her life apart. But one evening, the gorgeous angel that she dreamed about the night before walks into reception, and soon, the puzzle pieces start to come together.

The world is not what it seems, and the attacks on Eve are anything but random.

Black Fog Pre-order Available NOW!

The Mouse Cover Picture

That’s right!  I’ve finally wrapped up the series and typed “THE END” on my final book in The Mouse Series.  It’s up for pre-order on Amazon now.  And I’ve moved up the release date!  You can expect to get it in the first week of September.

I promise you, it’s a great wrap-up to the series.  You won’t be disappointed.

To celebrate, I thought I’d put some dream cast photos up.

I actually find it super-hard to find any picture that represent my characters, mainly because you can’t always capture the vibrancy and spirit of a person in a photo.  And if you do find that essence, it’s not often in a photo of a person who looks exactly like how you’ve described the character.

 

To give you an example, I find it easy to source photos of girls that match how I describe Sunny, but none of them capture her spirit, her flaws, her braveness and vulnerability.  The one I’ve posted here is the closest I’ve ever gotten, and I used her for my covers for a while.

 

But if we were going for an actress, well, I think I’d go for Emily Browning (here on the right).  She’s got the right combo of strength and vunderability.  Plus she’s GORGEOUS.

 

And I’d love Maggie Q for Annabel.  Again, she’s not exactly a teenager, but she’s the best example I can find of what I think Annabel would be like in the flesh.

 

Hunter is trickier. Yes, he’s supposed to be brutally hot.  But he’s also honourable, kind, sensitive and optimistic.  So the closest I could come to him was this insta account I found (and followed) of hot men with cute dogs.

It’s not exactly a perfect likeness, but I’m going to keep looking!  Wish me luck!

I JUST ATE A BURGER THE SIZE OF MY HEAD

And I’m not even sorry.

It was bigger than this one, I swear

It’s winter here in Melbourne, and that usually means that some days will be 2 degrees (celsius!) and raining, and other days will be 19 and sunny.  Melbourne is weird like that.  It’s the only place on earth that checking your weather apps before you leave the house (so you can dress accordingly) is compulsory.  We’re talking life-or-death scenario here.  You forget to check the weather and you might either get sunburnt, or die of hypothermia.

Anyways, it’s cold, which means I’m eating carbs again.  I LOVE carbs.  Bread is my favourite, and pasta comes a close second.  My naturopath gave me a good telling-off when I told her that I was trying to stay away from them.  Apparently you need carbs to feed your gut, and gut health is her boyfriend.

And I don’t want to kill her boyfriend.

I digress.  So I’m back on the carbs, and I’ve had a busy day, so I skipped breakfast and I’m HUNGRY.  So I duck to the burger place next door and get myself a burger. The lady at the burger shop is my friend, and I’ve never ordered one of her burgers before, so she’s trying to impress me.  So she made me a burger AS BIG AS MY HEAD.

And I ate it.  The whole thing.

Currently I’m feeling like a snake that just ate a whole pig.  Are my eyes bigger than my belly?  No.  They’re bigger than my whole digestive system.

Anyways, pray for me and my intestines.

 

In other news

 

I’ve started a new series!  Which, as you could probably tell, I’m currently procrastinating on by writing this blog post.  My new series is inspired by my all-time favourite book – Good Omens, by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.

The plot of this classic, in a nutshell: An angel and a demon find they have more in common with each other than their respective sides, and they work together to avert the apocalypse.  It’s a very funny book, and it inspired and shaped me in more ways than one.

Currently, the working title for my new series is No Room In My Womb, which, although hilarious, doesn’t fit the Urban Fantasy genre.  So I’m thinking of calling it Revelations.  It’s going to be dark, sexy, a little bit funny and I’m hoping to hit you right in the feels.  Think “The Southern Vampire Mysteries,” but with angels and demons instead of vampires.

So watch this space!  Exciting times ahead.

xoxo Lauretta

P.S.  My naturopath has just informed me that by carbs, she means sweet potato and quinoa, NOT burgers the size of my head.  I am ashamed.

I’ve got a surprise…

The search for the best YA cover ever

Hello, Alternuts!  I’ve got some news. I’m doing a REBRAND!

I’ve known for a while that my covers aren’t want I want them to be.  They just don’t represent exactly what The Mouse is about.  Sure, it’s nice having a gorgeous girl on the cover – a girl who I thought looked like what I imagined Sunny to be.  Young, innocent, and beautiful.  But, she’s also vibrant, powerful and inherently good, and I wanted new covers that represented how much of a rollercoaster adventure the story was.

And I got it!  The best YA cover ever!

Thanks to cover designer extraordinaire, Covers By Christian, I’ve got exactly what I’ve always wanted.  It’s exciting, bright, beautiful and represents the book perfectly.   Christian is currently working on the covers for the other three books in the series, and once they’re done, I’m doing a huge rebrand before the launch of the last book in the series.

 

So here’s a sneak peek of The Mouse cover:

Best YA Cover

 

What do you think?  Do you LOVE it?  I can’t stop looking at it, I’m obsessed.  I can’t WAIT to see what Christian does with the next three books!

In other news, I’ve just finished the first draft of Black Fog, the last book in The Mouse Series.  I can’t say that I was sad finally typing the words “THE END” at the last chapter.  Sunny’s story is done, and I’m itching to get on with writing my next book.  The characters have been marinating in my head for long enough, and I’m dying to get them down on paper.

But I can promise you, the ending of The Mouse Series is exactly what you would want it to be.

So stay tuned, Alternuts!

I am a Time Lorde

I have a superpower.  I can create time.

Or, at least I thought so.  For a while there. Let me explain.

I spent my teens and twenties doing practically nothing.  Sure, I had uni, then a job, but nothing outside of that.  No extra-curricular activities, no sports, no hobbies – unless you can count drinking and going to clubs.  I can remember whole weekends where I’d stay in bed, ordering food to be delivered and watching stacks of DVD’s before the sun would rise on Monday morning.

Yes. This.

Do things = achieve things

I never really understood this until I was in my early thirties.  It didn’t make sense to me, it just didn’t connect in my brain.  But now it’s so clear.  If you want to become something, you need to do things. It sounds simple, but I never really, honestly thought it was possible.

I wasn’t raised to be ambitious, to want more, to further myself.  If you were to ask my mum, she’d tell you I’m a liar.  But the underlying expectation of my teenage years was that I would find myself a suitable husband, preferably a tradie of some sort, get married, and have kids.  My grand purpose would be to serve my family.

My sisters fell into line.  Two out of three of them married diesel mechanics named Steve.  All three of them married men from my home town and had 4 children.  I bucked the trend, moved to Australia and married a Myotherapist called Jimmy and only had two kids.

After I had my daughter, I discovered Ambition.

It only occurred to me then that my mum had tried to get me to better myself.  She’d told me to go to uni, to study something better than just doing an Arts degree (sorry mum).  She told me lots of things.

So therefore, it was only when I was holding my daughter in my arms that I realized I couldn’t just tell her things.

I had to show her.

So  I decided to do all the things that I dreamed about doing, but never thought would be possible. I wanted  to show her that she could do them too.

The first one was that I was going to run a marathon.

The second was that I was going to write books.

Except, now I had two little kids, one small business, and one part-time hairdressing job. I literally had no time at all.

But I did those things anyway.

So it was that I decided I was a Time Lorde.  I must have made the time to do those things.

Of course, in hindsight, I didn’t make the time. I stole it, I borrowed it, I re-prioritized my life.

So here are my tips to make the time you need to get your shit done.

Mine your time from your partner

Men don’t do enough of the housework and childcare anyway. That’s statistics, amirite ladies?  You’re only enabling him by taking the lion’s share of the housework.  Just leave him to it, and go for your run/write your blog/design your website.  If you come back to a bomb site, tell him he’s done a shit job and leave it for him to clean up.  And no, it’s not “easier if I do it myself.”  It’s not.  It’s easier for everyone, especially in the long run, if you leave it for him to do.  It takes a bit of practice, but it’s worth it.

And if you’re a man reading this, and you’re looking for tips on mining time from your female partner – you can seriously fuck off right now.

Don’t bake

Seriously, don’t.  It takes up way too much time.  No one cares if you made those cookies, or if you picked them up from Woolies. Unless your grand ambition is to be a pâtissier, just buy your cupcakes from the café down the road and pretend you made them yourself.

Low-maintenance beauty

There’s lots of grey in this blonde hair but you couldn’t tell

I’ve got this one nailed.  Stop cutting your hair, and it will get long so you can just whack it in a pony.  There’s nothing more chic than a chic pony.  And it takes less than thirty seconds to do.  Whatever you do, DON’T get a short haircut, because you’ll be spending an hour or more every six weeks to maintain it, not to mention all the minutes you spend trying to style it.

Also, if you can’t give up colouring your hair, just get a few highlights.  They blend in your grey, and your roots won’t be as noticeable so you can get away with having them done every few months, instead of every four weeks.  No more spending hours at the salon!

Also, do most of your beauty stuff yourself, then you can utilize the waiting time to do other things. I once did my grocery shopping with eyebrow tint still on my eyebrows.  It was unintentional, but it had the added bonus of alarming all the other shoppers so I got my own checkout queue opened up for me and I got out of there a lot quicker.  Highly recommended.

Don’t clean up until the day is almost over

This one is mandatory for my sanity – as a parent with kids who love pulling out all the toys, all the time.  But it’s not just for the parents, it can apply to everyone.  Don’t just wash one dish six times.  Do a bunch of dishes once.  It takes almost the same amount of time to pick up three things off the floor rather than just one. Wait until the end of the day, and go into a cleanzy (a cleaning frenzy) and get shit done.

If you have unexpected guests and you’re embarrassed about having a messy house – well, snap out of it.  They were rude enough to call in without giving you notice.  Don’t apologize. Fuck them.

Make the most of your dead time

Got to take the kids to the doctor?  You know you’re going to be waiting a while.  Get your mates to meet you there with a thermos of gin and tonic. You’re not going to be able to pull out your laptop and do any worthwhile work, because you still gotta watch your kids. So turn it into a social event.  Catch up with your girlfriends and have a good gossip right there in reception. The best part of this is that the doctor can’t complain about you having fun with your girlfriend while you’re in the office, because if they weren’t running late (and they always are), this wouldn’t happen. It’s their fault, not yours.

Schedule your exercise to factor in some fear

This one was crucial in my marathon training.  I could only do my intervals in the short half-hour gap between leaving work and picking up my kids.  If I was late to pick my kids up, it could potentially cost me hundreds of dollars and put me on a childcare blacklist.  So I ran.  I ran bloody fast.

It could also work if you schedule a run through a park late at night.  Not recommended, but the fear of getting murdered would probably put some jet fuel in your pins.

Stop asking for feedback

You were probably right the first time.  Second-guessing yourself takes up too much time, time you could be using doing some other sort of mental labour.  This applies best in your creative endeavours, not so much when you’re doing your tax returns.

Your art is yours, it’s subjective, and it will have an audience that loves it.  You just have to find that audience.

So stop worrying what other people think, and just get the fuck on with it.  

XOXO Lauretta the Time Lorde.

The Scariest And Most Horrific TRUE Halloween Story EVER

I woke up in a pool of my own blood.

Pretty standard stuff really, it happens once every few months, when I’m too tired to register my early-warning alarm system (cramps) and wake up to tend to my uterus.

Horrific enough, but it gets worse.

That morning was a Tuesday. I run with a social run group at 6.05am before work on Tuesdays.  Since it was Halloween, and we’re suckers for themes, it was going to be a Spooky 605 Run.  I have a skeleton costume, a skin-tight all-in-one suit that my husband stole from Beyonce.  But that’s another story.

Skeletons
My costume in happier times

It was a high-quality sports fabric dancer’s outfit, so it was perfect for a Halloween run.  Despite feeling like the period truck hit me, I sorted myself out with a super tampon and squeezed into my skeleton suit, got my husband to zip me up and I drove the five minutes to the beach to meet my group.

Of course, everyone thought my outfit was the shit, and we started our run along Beach Road.  Chris, the run group leader, was dressed like a ghost and he couldn’t see anything and kept tripping on a sheet. We looked like a funny bunch, and we got quite a few high-fives from other runners and toots from drivers.

Running Skeleton
Before it all went horribly wrong…

We’d gotten about two kilometres down the road when I got the unmistakable tickle downstairs.  The warm-drip trickle that meant that my super tampon might not be up to the job.  We were due to turn back soon anyway, and I hoped that any excess dribble would be masked by the black of my costume.

I was wrong.  So very wrong.

I felt what can only be described as a gush. In horror, and still running at a 5.30 pace, I looked down and saw that the white skeleton bones on my legs were starting to turn red.

I turned to Regina, my running buddy.  She was always overdressed and had a jumper tied around her waist.  “Regina, can I borrow your jumper?” I hissed at her.

She looked confused and slowed a little.  “What?”

I gestured to my crotch, where the white bones were taking on an unmistakable red tinge.  “I’ve just got my period!” I wailed like a ghost.

She immediately started to undo her jumper but we both paused.  I was dressed like a fucking skeleton. The only way I could draw even more attention to myself would be to tie a jacket around my waist, where it would highlight the fact that I was hiding something.

I once ran a marathon behind a lady that had sharted at one point and had poo stains on her butt.  She unashamedly and determinedly finished the race.  I was both grossed out and incredibly impressed, and I wondered what I would do in that situation.

I’m no hero.  I was 3km away from my car, and me and Regina had both worked out that trying to cover my lower half was only going to make it look more obvious.

Regina’s face mashed into a weird mixture of pity and encouragement.  “Don’t worry, it looks like part of your costume!”

Yeah, sure Regina.  I’m dressed as a skeleton which is inexplicably bleeding from a non-existent uterus.  “I’m going to have to dash back to the car,” I said out loud.

Regina nodded furiously. “Yes, go.  I will cover for you.” (Side-note, Regina is German and speaks plainly and with perfect diction.  Her idea of ‘covering’ for me would be to calmly explain to the group that I am menstruating and unable to continue the group run.)

I turned back and started to sprint.

And I mean, really sprint. My tempo pace sits at about 5.10 minutes per km.  I reckon I was going under 4 minutes for that 3km.

As part of a group dressed as ghosts and ghouls, I got whoops and high-fives from runners.  As a single, sprinting skeleton blowing hard, I just got worried looks and obvious swerves.

But I made it back to the car where I could take stock of my appearance.  It actually wasn’t bad, just the tops of my femurs were a little red.  And you wouldn’t notice unless you were really looking hard at my crotch, which I hoped no one was.

After my Tuesday run I have to dash to work to open up, and today was no exception.  It wouldn’t be hard to get there and clean up before I had to open.

That’s when the real horror story began.

It was a fucking skin-tight onesie.

I had to find someone to unzip me.

 

The End.