And I’m not even sorry.

It was bigger than this one, I swear

It’s winter here in Melbourne, and that usually means that some days will be 2 degrees (celsius!) and raining, and other days will be 19 and sunny.  Melbourne is weird like that.  It’s the only place on earth that checking your weather apps before you leave the house (so you can dress accordingly) is compulsory.  We’re talking life-or-death scenario here.  You forget to check the weather and you might either get sunburnt, or die of hypothermia.

Anyways, it’s cold, which means I’m eating carbs again.  I LOVE carbs.  Bread is my favourite, and pasta comes a close second.  My naturopath gave me a good telling-off when I told her that I was trying to stay away from them.  Apparently you need carbs to feed your gut, and gut health is her boyfriend.

And I don’t want to kill her boyfriend.

I digress.  So I’m back on the carbs, and I’ve had a busy day, so I skipped breakfast and I’m HUNGRY.  So I duck to the burger place next door and get myself a burger. The lady at the burger shop is my friend, and I’ve never ordered one of her burgers before, so she’s trying to impress me.  So she made me a burger AS BIG AS MY HEAD.

And I ate it.  The whole thing.

Currently I’m feeling like a snake that just ate a whole pig.  Are my eyes bigger than my belly?  No.  They’re bigger than my whole digestive system.

Anyways, pray for me and my intestines.


In other news


I’ve started a new series!  Which, as you could probably tell, I’m currently procrastinating on by writing this blog post.  My new series is inspired by my all-time favourite book – Good Omens, by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.

The plot of this classic, in a nutshell: An angel and a demon find they have more in common with each other than their respective sides, and they work together to avert the apocalypse.  It’s a very funny book, and it inspired and shaped me in more ways than one.

Currently, the working title for my new series is No Room In My Womb, which, although hilarious, doesn’t fit the Urban Fantasy genre.  So I’m thinking of calling it Revelations.  It’s going to be dark, sexy, a little bit funny and I’m hoping to hit you right in the feels.  Think “The Southern Vampire Mysteries,” but with angels and demons instead of vampires.

So watch this space!  Exciting times ahead.

xoxo Lauretta

P.S.  My naturopath has just informed me that by carbs, she means sweet potato and quinoa, NOT burgers the size of my head.  I am ashamed.

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